10 marriage and relationship tips to make your marriage relationship thrive.

1.       Give your spouse great and uplifting experiences and feelings.

People love you and will stay with you based on the predominant feelings and experiences they have while they are in relationship with you. If they feel good, happy, esteemed and positive most of the time they will always want to stay with you.

However, if you make them feel discouraged, down courage, depressed and disheartened they won’t want to stay with you.

So consciously make an effort to bring a smile on the face of your spouse every day.

Every morning when you get up ask yourself this question: what can I do today to make _____(the name of your spouse) feel happy or sexy or esteemed?

2.       Love your spouse the way they want to be loved.

I have heard many men scream in frustration that they provide their wife: money, car, house, holidays and more and she still nags him.

“What does she want me to do..?” is the frustrated question they usually ask.

Many women say all they want are the simple things. Attention, affection, talk and compliments.

Many of us love our spouses they way we want to be loved. We are surprised when they say they don’t feel loved and cared for.

That is because we are not scratching where it itches.

Try and find out what actions and words your feel is love.

• Do they like to be told how much your love them?
• Do they like gifts, presents and tokens of love?
• Would they prefer you spend lots of time with them?
• Or would they prefer you to be affectionate with them?
• Some people like you to do things for them

It’s no use killing you doing things that means nothing to them. You are only burning yourself out.

3.       Avoid love busters.

Along with things that make your spouse happy, they are also things that can make him or her very sad and upset.

These can include, shouting and angry outburst, annoying habits, stonewalling, dishonesty, criticism and selfish demands.

These can create anger, frustration, irritation and repulsion for your spouse.

4.       Joint policy agreement.

This is something that Willard Harley emphasis. He says we should never do anything that our spouses don’t want. Doing this will cause resent to build up in him or her.

You and your spouse should always find a happy mutual alternative to anything one of you doesn’t like. Admittedly this is much easier said than done.

But it is well worth doing.

5.       Physically connect with your spouse every day.

Kiss and hug your spouse when parting in the morning and when you arrive home in the evening. Remember the country and western Song Kiss an Angel good morning. It really works. Listen the lyrics below.

 

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Would you believe that research has shown that men who kiss their wives in the morning averages a higher income and also live 5 years longer than those who don’t.

6.       Regularly surprise your spouse.

A surprise has a way shifting our emotions positively and bringing happiness to our souls. It says that you think and care about him/her.

7.       Soft start up.

If you are going to have a difficult conversation start softly – the good Book says a soft answer turns away wrath.

John Gottman, relationship researcher, says a harsh/hard start up to a conversation makes it very difficult to have a good outcome.

Always try to start gently soft start up.

8.       Have a date night every week.

One of the things lovers tend to do in the first flush of romance is to spend a lot of time together. Unfortunately when people marry and settle down, the cares of life tend to rob them of time. And soon they become like ships passing in the night.

So make it habit of spending time alone together. Just the two of you.

Go for walks, picnics or dates every week.

9.       Talk.

When you first got together you were always talking. You can easily spend hours on the phone chatting into the wee hours of the morning. You couldn’t get enough with each other.

Spend some speaking about your hopes, wishes and dreams. Plan together.

If something bothers you, explain what bothers you, say how it makes you feel and tell your spouse what you would prefer they do.

10.                Keep your spouse up to date with what’s happening in your world by sharing how your day goes.

Have you ever heard some say that no longer recognise that person they are with. It is not the same person they married 5 years ago.

Well guess what, we are all changing, and yes he/she is not the same person that they were 5 years ago. It is only that you didn’t keep up with the changes.

A simple but easy way to keep track of the changes your partner is simply to talk about your day every time you come home every night.

Talk about your joys and sorrows; ups and downs; successes and failures.

This will give you a chance not only to support and celebrate but also to grow and bond with each other.