Divorce: Divorce after children leave home

Empty-nesting Divorce

Did you know that 1 in 6 divorces are by people who break up after years and years of marriage?

In fact many people are divorcing after their children leave home – empty-nesting divorce. That is well after 20- 30 years of being together. You would have thought that their marriages are so well knitted that divorce would not be an option

Judge Lynn Toler of DivorceCourt TV series says that people who divorce their time to raising children without taking care of each other’s need tend to grow into strangers.

Here are some reasons she gave for this empty nest divorce.

1. We are living longer than our parents, hence after the children leave people have a lot of time to enjoy and if their marriages were not happy some opt to leave.
2. At the end of rearing children people “look up and either don’t know the other person or they have been waiting until the kids are gone, because they were unhappy”.

The tearing apart of the family it reverberates for years. Lynn Toler

What are the solutions? Is there a way to stop divorce after the children grow up?

Judge Lynn Toyler gives some very insightful suggestions

1. Before the children leave deal with issues that may be bothering you. Ask
1. Are we hearing each other?
2. Are we happy? Don’t pretend that you are when you are not
2.    Find new interest together before the children leave. E.g. classes, volunteering, sports, hobbies
3.  Get together other couples who are going through same phase

Here are some tips on how to save your marriage even after years of marriage