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How can you tell if you are in a bad relationship? Is it stable or headed towards certain disaster?

What are the symptoms of a bad relationship?

There are some secret telltale signs that indicate that you might be headed for a romantic breakdown. Ignore these to and you will soon or later suffer from a severe broken heart.

Talking about broken heart I recently came across some information which says the people suffer just as much trauma from an emotional heart ache as they do from physical injuries. I don’t have to convince of that if have had your heart broken before.

The hurt, ache and deep soul pain is no joke.

But what are the signs that your relationship is in a bad state and you may be headed towards a major break down – a romantic heart attack better known as a broken-heart?

Here are 10 symptoms of a bad relationship:

1.       Secret mental desires:

Constantly wishing you never got involved this person or secretly wishing to be involved with someone else

2.       Selfish demands:

This is insisting that someone does something for you regardless to how they feel. You feel you are entitled to this or it is their duty or obligation.

3.       Angry outburst.

Some people feel that in order to assert themselves, or make themselves heard or show someone how not to mess with them, they have to become heated, angry and emotionally explode.

4.       Annoying habits:

Some people have habits that drive their spouses crazy. For example one women I told me she just could stand to see her husband chewing with his mouth open. This affected her so much she did not want to be around him. To help the situation he literally had to train himself to eat with his mouth shut.

5.       Independent behaviour

According to Dr. Harley, independent behaviour is conducting and behaving as if your spouse doesn’t exist. So you make decisions without consulting or even caring what the other person think. While this type of behaviour is fine for a single person, it is very destructive in a marriage

6.       Dishonesty

This is the cancer of relationship. It is with-holding information or lying to your spouse in order to give him/her an impression that all is well. This is very disastrous as the other person has a false impression of who and what you really are. It is very hurtful and damaging when they find out the truth.

7.       Criticism:

This involves anything that is said or done that would make the partner feel embarrassed, less than, invalid or small. Something is always wrong with what the do or say or even with who they are as a person

8.       Contempt.

Contempt is looking down on someone and feeling they are pitiful, stupid or even inferior. This comes out in verbal and nonverbal ways e.g. rolling eyes, mocking their words or actions

9.       Blaming.

The blame game is a very deadly as each person accuses the other of doing, saying or acting in ways that make them react badly. They never take responsibility for their own actions. It is always somebody that made them do it.

10.   Stone walling.

This is what relationship guru John Gottman says men mainly do. Most men give women the silent treatment. They erect an invisible wall against any thing the woman do or say. They neither respond verbally or even non-verbally. Some women do this too. It can be very torturous for anyone to try to communicate to an unresponsive spouse.

Well, how do these symptoms manifest themselves?

Relationship coaches Susie and Otto Collins give some very practical examples of how couples begin to behave when their relationship begin to deteriorate.

Do you recognize any of these behaviour in your relationship? I so you may want to reconsider the relationship

People in unhealty relationship do some or all of these things

1. They cut each other down in front of others or in print like on Face book
2. They interrupt each other
3. They aren’t honest
4. They look elsewhere for love and attention and have affairs–physical or emotional
5. They don’t trust one another
6. They spend more time at the office or away from home than necessary
7. They do too much or too little to keep the relationship going
8. They hold onto old resentments and hurts for years