Family finance

Talk Money: Talking money with your spouse

How to talk to your spouse about money

I guess you know that money has been one of the things which contribute to problems in marriages? In fact it is reported to be one of the top things which lead to divorce.

I must say that I think money is more of a symptom of relationship problems than a real cause, but I would like to stick to how to talk with and deal with this money ‘hot potatoes’ in your marriage.

This short video clip shows how you can actually deal this marriage monster – family finances.

When was the last time you had a conversation about money to your spouse or any one for that matter of fact?

I think it is really interesting that many people do not actually talk about money generally, except how to make it.

Financial reporter, Stacey Tisdale claims we do not have a model on how to talk about money?

Do you agree?

But how to do actually go about talking about money?

Stacey says we there are things we should do before they actually start to talk about money.

“Before people get to the money talk, they need to be certain they are honouring their spoken and unspoken agreements about money,” Tisdale says.

In other words, if you agreed to be contributing to the mortgage; if you are the one responsible for the bills; if you agreed to by the foods and or clothes then you should be doing what you signed up for.

“If you are not honouring those agreements do not expect someone to talk you series when you come to them with suggestions on how to make things better,” Stacey says.

Why do so many families run into problems when it comes to money?

Well Tracey says this is because they did not look at what they brought to the table. There are 3 things which influence how people behave when it comes to money.

  1. The early money lessons we learn as children. What we absorb from the way our parents relate about money
  2. Social pressures. The neighbourhood, cars, and clothes we choose to spend on. Who should control the money – man or women? An even what we tell ourselves about money e.g. “I am bad with money”
  3. The mental preset men and women have about money. Men tend to want to be the providers and bread winners and when there is a problem they tend to feel they are to be blamed.

Women tend to look at how a man is providing for them to determine how much he cares about them, even if they have a hard time admitting it,” Tracey declares.

The solution?

Find out the financial personality of your spouse.

Find out how this person was socialized around money; what their attitudes are and how they acquire, spend and save money.

Then sit down and plan how to acquire, save and spend  money.

Tracey Tisdale is the author of “The true cost of happiness: the real story behind managing your money.”


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