Marriage Advice

Happy marriage: 10 Secrets to a happy marriage

Want to know the secrets to a happy marriage?

Well in this funny clip of “I love Lucy” Lucille Ball & Desi Arnaz shows us how to have a happy marriage.

Here are the secrets you will find in the clip:

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Discuss things kindly.

Did you notice the difference between when he spoke normally or kindly to when he shouted. Here is one of the big secrets to happy relationship. Angry outbursts poison your marriage relationship and cause things to deteriorate fast.

However if you could have a soft start-up your discussion will be much more productive

Never lose your temper

Losing your temper is another one of those toxins that literally spoil your relationship. Chances are when you get angry you will do and say things that you will regret. You may damage (physically or emotionally) during your spell of anger. Anger like drugs make you lose control of yourself.

Please manage your emotions. Here are some things you can do to manage your emotions:

Tell your partner that you are very upset and you need to take a break to cool down, before you do or say something you will regret

  • Count to 10
  • Walk away
  • Go for drive
  • Talk a cold shower

Listen to your partner

Believe it or not we are not very good at listening. Never do what he did, which is to block her out physically with the paper and emotionally by not responding. These are the worst things you can do to any human.

John Gottman, relationship guru, calls this stonewalling. He says it is one of the horsemen of relationship demise.

Did you notice when she started speaking and responding to herself.

Not listening indicates that you are not interested. It shows that you don’t value the other person, it make them feel as they are nobody.

Honesty

Honesty and transparency in a relationship builds trust. All great relationship is based on trust. Willard Harley feels that Honesty and transparency is a love need.

If we don’t have it we can’t survive in a relationship.

So be open and honest to your partner, even when it hurts.

Consideration

How do you feel when someone goes out of their way to do something for you?

It sure does make me feel valued and esteemed.

What is consideration?

Consideration is thinking about how your actions will affect the other person’s feelings. You avoid doing things that will hurt/upset him/her. You do things that will make them happy.

Appreciation

Appreciation is half of labourers pay. This was what my mother use to say.

That is so true. When you tell someone how much you appreciate them and what they do, they not only make them feel good, you make them want to do it again.

Surprise your spouse once in a while

That was a very funny way to surprise his wife.

But a surprise does wonders for your relationship. It helps your spouse to recognize that you think and care about him/her. You are considerate.

Don’t take you partner’s freedom away

Do you want to know the number one fear of men who are thinking of getting married?

One of the greatest fears for men is that their freedom will be severely limited when they get married.

Let me tell you of a good way to overcome this. Remember in school, you use to have free time. Well once a week or so, let your partner have free time. Time to do what ever they want to do.

That way they won’t feel trapped in a relationship without any breathing space.

Make compliments

One of the things I use to tell my clients is: 3 compliments a day keeps the love doctor away.

Make it a habit of complementing your partner.

Never cool down the flame

What is one of the things which die out after a while in a relationship?

Yep passion!

Well passion is not only about making love. It involves all those romantic things you use to do when you first met.

I could guarantee if you do the very things you use to do, you will rekindle passion in your relationship.

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