Marriage Advice

Happy marriage: Secrets of a happy marriage – avoid annoying habits

Does your spouse have habits that really annoy you?

Is this habit ruining your love and admiration for them?

What can you do to have a happy marriage when your husband (or wife) does things that really irritate and annoy you?

Well in the following video on the book written but marriage counsellor Gary Chapman “Love is a verb” he tells of a story of how a wife went from annoyance to full fledge love and happiness. (the specific story begins 5:07 mins)

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Although the clip is about Chapman’s book “Love is a verb”, he briefly describes his flagship program “5 love languages.

The “5 love languages” explains that people receive and interprets love in different ways

  1. Through words that affirm them
  2. Spending time together
  3. When others give them gifts
  4. Physical touch
  5. When people do things for them

For more about love languages click here

While the video has several other content, I think this story which begins about 5:09 minute mark, explains a great secret to have a happy marriage.

Here is story is told of  a woman who just hated seeing her husband dring tea witha spoon. it bothers her to the point she was losing her love for him.

This is one of the love busters that Dr. Willard Harley speaks about – annoying habits.

A love buster is anything someone does that not only irritates you but makes you love them less.

Usually when we get married and settle down, we find out little things which our spouse does that simply drive us up the wall.

One lady just didn’t like the fact that her husband chewed his food with his mouth open. And I guess you would have heard of people who argue and eventually got divorced because of squeezing the tooth paste tube from the top not the bottom or putting on the toilet paper the ‘wrong’ way.

There are all kinds of annoying habits. My wife hates it I don’t put my dirty clothes in the wash basket.

Believe it or not these seemingly simple habits can destroy the happiness and joy in your marriage.

The million dollar question is what can we do to overcome this and restore love and fulfilment in our marriages?

The story in the video gives us the secret:

  1. Make list of all the things that your spouse does which annoys you
  2. Make a list of what you love about him or her
  3. Make a list of all your annoying habits and weaknesses
  4. Make a list of all your good points
  5. Throw away or burn the list with your partner’s annoying habits
  6. Focus on the good points of your partner by reading the list of good qualities every day

What should you do if your spouse point out that there are things you do that annoys him or her?

Well according to Harley you should make great effort to overcome them.

Why?

These habits are going to eat away at the love and admiration that he or she has for you.

Overcoming your annoying habits is a small price to pay for a happy, successful relationship.

Because a habit is very difficult to overcome and you will unconsciously relapse ask your spouse to kindly remind you about it if and when she notices you doing it.

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