Secrets to a long-lasting marriage
Tony and Anne started out their marriage with high hopes and expectations. Everyone who knew them thought they had what it takes to make it through life together.
They seem to be in tune with each other. Always laughing, chatting and having a good time. They could be seen hand in hand walking or even kissing in public. It came as a complete shock to everyone when they announce they were getting divorce 5 years after the wedding.
Kristan’s marriage to Kisrtie, on the other hand, was billed to fail with months. She was 10 years older and he was from a foreign country. People thought all he wanted immigration papers and security. However after 11 years their marriage seems stronger than ever.
What is the secret to happy long lasting marriages?
Years of marriage research have finally produced concrete evidence of what makes marriage work and what makes it fail.
I am going to give you some secrets which if followed would guarantee you a great marriage.
- Say and do small things that make your spouse smile or feel happy.
“Do and say small things that make you partner feel special or valued,” Dr Terry or buck says.
How? Do and say things that will create happiness for your spouse.
What are some of the things you can say or do?
- Play fight
- Surprise kisses
- Notes, texts, emails, voice messages
- Remind them of the things that attracted you them
- Tell him/her how much you admire some feature of his/ her body
This is not only great for women it is also especially good for men.
“Men need and crave affective affirmation,” Orbuck says.
What she means is that men need to be praised, adored and admired.
The opposite of this is criticism. Nothing can drown a man’s spirit and feelings for you than criticism.
It is reported that the giant Tony Robins divorced his first wife because she did not make him feel valued and special at home. In fact he allegedly claimed that felt like a boy in his own house.
When should you do these things: every day
2. Another thing that is most in important in modern marriages, especially for women is domestic help from their husbands.
When men help around the house women not only feel valued but validated.
Eunice just loves it when barrister John comes home plays with the children, bath them, read a story and puts them to bed.
3. Mutual respect for your spouses’ differences, like and dislikes is crucial to having a long happy marriage.
Can you imagine being married to someone who simple don’t and rubbishes your religious beliefs or even looks down on your culture.
I could tell you, before long you will begin to resent of even hate them.
*Communication: you definitely need to keep the communication channels open. Just look at new lover or even people who are having an affair. They are constantly talking to each other.
Find a few minutes every day to talk about something pleasant and interesting to both of you.
Remember that part of communication is asking for what you want. No one, not even your spouse, can read minds. Asking for what you want helps your spouse to know what is one your mind and how to supply your emotional need.
So go and have a long happy marriage by implementing these simple, but powerful secrets.