Is your marriage empty – loveless, lacking romance and sex?
Are you like Joyce and Josh?
After 3 years of marriage and one child they have an empty relationship. They have serious relationship problems. Joyce feels lonely, drained and very disconnected from Josh. The romance has evaporated from the relationship.
Josh on the other hand thinks he is living with a flatmate than a wife. He scarcely get any sex and when he does he feels like she is only performing a chore.
How do you actually get the love and romance you first had in a relationship.
This guy has some practical pointers.
Men and women do indeed need romance, but the million dollar question is what does romance mean to a man and a woman?
According to Jimmy:
What does romance look like to man?
It is “naked, sex, fun, honour.”
I think he got that right. It is not surprising that men are very visual. They are very stimulated by the sight of a woman’s body. That is why the porn industry it usually marketed to the male population.
Sex is also very important to a man. Why?
Well apart from the fact that sex is very pleasurable it is one of the core ways men get to be in deep contact with another person. Sex is also necessary for a man to relieve himself of his semen that have accumulated in his body. Men feel pressured to have sex in much the same way we feel the desire to wee when our bladder is full.
Honour and respect.
Men have a deep craving to be respected. Some men will actually fight and kill if they feel they have been disrespected.
Showing respect make him love and romance you much more than you can every think
Now what does romance mean for a women?
“For a woman romance mean long slow touching, talking, and staring.” Says Jimmy
Women love to be affection. They really longed to be touched (caressed, petted, hugged, kissed). This stimulates them and assures them of you love. It also turns them on romantically.
By the way this affectionate touching should be non-sexual as many women resent being touched only as a means to have sex.
Do you remember when you were dating you use to spend endless hours talking. Sometimes you will talk to each other on a date and later on the phone until wee hours of the morning.
Interestingly women seem to bond though talk. They connect to each other and their husbands through the conversation and talk. According to marriage expert Willard Harley, talking for women is a need – it is just as much a need as sex is for men.
Great marriages are emotionally bilingual
According to Jimmy there is man-speak language and woman-speak language.
I love this illustration because it helps us to understand when we simply cannot understand each other.
What do you do when you go to live in a foreign country that does not speak the language you know. You either find an interpreter of quickly begin to learn the language.
I think if married couples understand this fundamental point it will go a long way to rekindling love and romance in their relationship.
So how to you actually learn your partners love language.
- Listen to what she/he is complaining about? What does she regularly say that you are not doing? What would she want you to do?
- Think about the things you use to do when you were first in love and begin to do those things again.
I guarantee if you only start to do these you will see a rekindling of love, romance and great sex in your marriage.