How do you show love to your husband or wife?
I was very surprised and taken back one day when my wife said that she doesn’t think I love her.
I wanted to declare all the things I am doing to demonstrate my huge bank of love for her – not to mention that I married her in the first place.
How can you convince them beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are deeply in love with them?
Well amazingly Gary Chapman reveals 5 powerful ways to demonstrate your love for someone in ways that will powerfully convince them of your deep love.
I remember Jack who came to me scratching his head and at his wits end over what next to do for his wife Julie.
He bought her every possible thing that a women could want (including a Lexus car, expensive Jewellery, exotic holidays and unrestricted access to fund for shopping).
“What next can I do because she still complains,” he declared as if he couldn’t believe what that a woman with such privilege could still have other needs.
“All it takes is the little things to make me happy,” Julie told me later.
The little things for her included spending time to take her on walks on the beach or in the park; watching movies together and even cooking meals together. Jack was far too busy making money to “show” his love for these little things.
I introduce Jack and Jill to the concept of love languages and this totally changed their relationship for the better. They are like love birds now.
If you want to find out the first love language listen to this interview with Gary Chapman.
The first love language – It is using word to affirm the other person.
- Oh you look fantastic in that outfit
- I really appreciate when you do that
- You are such a great cook
According to Chapman the words could be used to affirm the personality, character or something they did for you.
How can you do this?
You can say it; write it; sing it; act it or even sign it (use sign language to communicate it).
Conversely if you are critical of condemning of a person whose love language is words of affirmation you are actually destroying them. When you do so Chapman says:
“You are giving them the opposite of what makes them feel loved. You are making them feel like they are not worthy or good or not going to accomplish anything in life.”
The second love language is Quality Time.
This is giving some your undivided attention. This does not involve watching the television together.
It involves being totally absorbed and into each other.
It may be having a conversation, talking a walk, being a date or doing some activity. However it must alone with your spouse.
Why is this important?
Can you remember when you first became lovers? Well you couldn’t get enough of each other. You always wanted exclusive time. For some people this exclusive time is vital. It is their primary way of knowing that you love, adore and cherish them.
Want to learn more on how to create a tremendously happy relationship – check out this article here.