Emotional affairs – the new infidelity
Can you have an affair without having sex?
If you were to ask a man this question you will most likely get a NO answer. However if you asked a woman this question you will get a screaming YES!
Well I have to tell you that the correct answer is YES!
Emotional affairs are the new infidelity. You can emotionally cheat on your romantic spouse or partner.
The late Lady Diana is reported to have said she felt that there was another person in her marriage. Apparently she did not initially believe that her husband Prince Charles was sexually cheating on, she felt that he was giving his attention and emotions to someone else – Camilla Parker.
What is an emotional affair and how can you tell that you are in an emotional affair?
This happens when someone forms a deep consistent bond with someone else other than their primary partner or spouse.
It involves sharing intimate secrets about your hopes, wishes, dreams and desires. It usually also involves sharing the private happenings of the primary relationship. You share how you feel about your wife/husband/spouse and what they are doing or not doing in the relationship. The feeling of being understood, appreciated, listened to and supported draws on your emotions in an intoxicating way. You long to see, meet and talk to the person more and more. Finally you may begin to fantasize about him or her and eventually sexual feelings begin to develop.
Interestingly this is all done in secret and your spouse is never told about this. The secrecy facilitates and intensifies the process.
How is this possible?
Emotional affairs have become more popular because women has more access to the work place where they spend most of their day and also electronic means of communication – text, email internet chat and video facilities.
The effects of this
Emotional affairs diverts and drains the primary relationship of attention, energy and feelings. Your spouse would sense that something is wrong. They may not be able to articulate exactly what it is but their intuition would hint that something is amiss in the relationship.
What can you do?
- The first thing to do it to admit to yourself that you are doing something that is not right. You are giving and receiving attention and emotional energies from someone who is not your spouse.
- Tell your spouse about it. This is the one thing that many people dread doing, however it is the most effective way of breaking the toxic strangle hold that the emotional affair has on you. Emotional affair thrive on secrecy and they die a quick death when they are expose to the light of revelation.
- Break off all ties with the emotional lover. Do not try to be their friend as this may only serve to rekindle the love you both have for each other.