How cheating and infidelity can destroy not only a marriage but people’s lives.

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When movie star turned governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, cheated over a decade ago, he never imagined that it would have such a disastrous result.

With his power, wealth and influence he quietly and discreetly kept it quiet. Or so he thought!

The awful skeleton of adultery and its results (a love child) came tumbling out of the historical closet recently.

The stunned wife, Maria Shriver, learnt that her house helper was pregnant at the same time as she was while living with them.

Could you imagine the betrayal and embarrassment she feels? She was totally committed to him for over 25 years of marriage. She supported Arnold through his political campaign.  A campaign, during which he was accused of having numerous affairs with other women. Maria publicly (on Oprah) stood up for him. He publicly acknowledged it was her who helped him win as governor of California.

Lets look at what might have happened to actuate this harsh consequences.

Arnold was vulnerable

It is clear that Arnold is an attractive and magnetic man. Even without his wealth, popularity and power women would be magnetically drawn to him. He could be considered an alpa male.

We could also presume from his physical built, deep voice and appearance that he has a very high level of the male hormone testosterone.

Couple all that with his popularity in the movies, tremendous wealth and power as governor you have a recipe for marital disaster from the start.

Why?

Women are naturally attracted to all of the above elements. So even without him initiating sexual advances (which he very well may have), many women would be happy to flirt with and avail their services to him.

It would take herculean moral strength not to give in to the many temptations he would be daily exposed to.

Notwithstanding all this however, to cheat with your maid, although tempting is rather stupid to say the least.

We can conclude that Arnold took advantage of his position as her boss. No one knows exactly what went on, but he should have known better.

Arnold Schwarzenegger
Creative Commons License photo credit: cliff1066™

 

I totally agree with Dr. William Helmreich that people in his position are duped to believe that they are somehow immune to the consequences of such actions.

This brings to mind, the story of King David in the Bible. He had an affair with a married woman. When she fell pregnant, he tried to get her husband to sleep with her to cover up the problem. The husband didn’t and actually wanted to go back on the battle field where he was fighting for the country. David arranged for him to be put in a position in the battle so that he would be killed. He was and David married the wife.

David thought he got away with it by a year later a prophet confronted David through a parable and David confessed.

Now over 10 years later, Arnold has come clean. We are not told exactly how this came to light but he is very remorseful over it.

Maria has separated from him.

What should she do?

She should spend time to grieve.

Infidelity is like a sudden death of someone you know. The Arnold she thought she knew and trusted isn’t the person she now realized she was sleeping with all these years.

This could be very frightening. She has got to piece her world back together because it has been shattered by this awful revelation.

She should seek professional help.

Times like this when your world has shattered its very difficult to think properly. There would be times when she desperately long to have her dear Arnold back; at other times she would hate his guts and want to kill for the hurt and pain she is suffering from.

She would also feel very stupid for not seeing or knowing that such a thing was going on right under her nose.

Accept that this is the death of the present relationship

Maria has to understand that this is the end of the relationship she had with Arnold before. Whatever happens from here, they have to start a totally new relationship. It has to be created from ground up again.

To do this he has earn her trust by working and demonstrated that he deserves that trust.

Decide to go or stay in the relationship

It is hard for any to see that she would stay if the relationship after such deep betrayal. However some people do still love and want to be with the infidel.

Find out more about how to deal with a cheating spouse.

 

 

Filed under: Cheating

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